One of the fun parts of poker is naming a hand after the play is over for that hand.

For example if you had Ace King (A K), you call it Anna Kournikova because it looks good but rarely wins.

So then, you call it tennis for short. A Q is squash because it’s not quite tennis.

If you get two pairs of Js and 5s – it’s called Motown … Jackson Five!

One of my faves (because I made it up) is if you win with a hand on Jack being the highest card – you call it Lawn Bowls – because it’s Jack High.

A pair of nines is the German virgin – nein nein.

If you are wondering whether to bet or not and decide to fold, then realise you would have lost a lot of money if you had bet, you say ‘Oregami’ – as in, good folding. Another one I made up and is a bit of a hit if I say so myself…

Another good hand is Jack King off suits (of different suits). It’s called The Bachelor Hand, because it’s Jacking Off. (’Off suits’ being different suits – not sure how much card terminology you are into).

We made up another one after playing with some beginners last week who called everything, no matter how much you raised the bet… this is very frustrating if you are trying to bluff. They are at the experimental stage and don’t know whether they have a good hand or not, they just keep calling. It’s most frustrating if you get to the end and it turns out they hit a pair of twos on the river which means they beat you because you had nothing. We call them Telstras because they always call, or Optus because they always say ‘Yes’. Even though you’re not supposed to table talk, DB shot me a look last week which I’m pretty sure meant ‘Keep betting – you’ll force her out of the hand.’ I raised my hand to my ear and mouth in the ‘call me’ pose and she straight away knew that I’d tried that twice and didn’t want to lose any more money. This beginner promptly kicked both of our butts and good on her for doing it.

You might recall I enjoyed similar beginner’s luck a few months ago so who am I to begrudge it?!

Egg on Mark’s right – I’m obsessed.